Where Magic Happens
If I had known I’d be spending my whole summer switching between hiding in a closet and hiding in a bathroom I might have put a little more thought into signing up to clean the “happiest place on earth”. But, I didn’t. So now here I sit on an overturned bucket between extra rolls of toilet paper, which I was very tempted to borrow because our apartment was running low, and the bags of lemon-scented wood shavings used to clean up protein spills. The closet was cool and softly lit with one light bulb hanging from the ceiling, a pleasant place to hide; if a supervisor or fellow employee with a superiority complex, aka Ronaldo, walked in all I had to say was that I was looking for the glass cleaner or an extra rag and then scamper off and that would be the end of it.
This was supposed to be the best summer ever. I was in Florida with my two best friends working for Disney; we were supposed to be having the best time all the time. Instead I’m sitting in a closet with nothing to do. All the bathrooms have been cleaned and recleaned, the trash emptied and the floor swept. What was scheduled to take me half the day took only thirty minutes so there was nothing left to do but hide and wait for my eight hour shift to end. Today was going to be an especially long day of hiding. I was at All-Star Hall, where the giant Argentine tour groups would unload off their monstrous buses, check in and then leave never to return until their vacation was over. I’d rather be pouring alcohol over fresh razor blade cuts than working here. I tried to get out of it, but my manager wouldn’t hear it.
I asked pleadingly, “Can’t I work with Carlos? I could help him fill the trash truck.”
My overly-gelled Guatemalan manager sweetly responded, “No, we need someone at the Hall. There’s a group coming in today.”
“So…after they leave could I go help Carlos? They won’t be there that long”
“No, we need you there all day. Now get going, missy.” He lisped, as he shooed me out of the conference room. Carlos shrugged as I walked past him to my death sentence.
I walked away from that conversation defeated. What happened that day was no fault of mine. If he would have let me go with Carlos to collect trash my hands wouldn’t have been so idle and the devil would have not had a chance to play with them.
I should probably go check the trashcans, even though I checked them less than an hour ago and no one has come in the Hall since the rambunctious group of adolescent Argentines left over three hours ago. I cracked opened the closet door to check if the coast was clear. Peaking out behind every so carefully as to not draw attention to myself and because it made me feel more like James Bond. Coast clear. The Hall was empty except for the blonde receptionist who refused to acknowledge my presence even though we were the only two people in the entire hall.
I cleaned her territory earlier that morning and even ventured a conversation with her. I thought that maybe this shift might not be so boring having a girl to talk with. She looked relatively young with dyed blonde hair and lots of make-up and hot pink manicured nails. She could be fun. Maybe we could talk about the cute luggage boys and our plans the Fourth of July? Maybe we would hit it off real well and she would let me sit with her in her ventilated office?
Pleasantly I asked as I entered her turf, “How is your day going?”
Blondie responded through her tight fake red lips, “Fine.”
“It was pretty crazy with all those Argentines this morning. I would love to go to Argentina. I bet it’s so beautiful and fun. They seem like fun people, loud too. Have you ever been there?”
“No. The trash under my desk is full, could you take care of it.”
“Sure…..How ‘bout those luggage boys?”
Nothing.
What a jerk! Did she really think she was that much better than me because she was the receptionist and I was a custodian. Telling me the trash was full. Who was in college only working here for the summer and who was stuck working at a minimum wage job for the rest of her life? I was not the latter, so I let her continued rudeness slide over me as I checked the five Disney logoed trashcans. Those multicolored trashcans cost about as much as my tuition, Disney was insane spending that much on a bin that holds crap. They were all empty. Big surprise. I thought to myself that I should at least pretend to clean the already clean bathroom to make it appear that I was keeping myself busy. I could hide out in there for a bit, avoiding Blondie’s ignorance of me. I walked past the blonde and smiled a big goofy smile at her. She responded by staring down at her computer as if something very important was on the screen that needed her attention. She was after all someone who dealt with very important matters.
The bathroom looked just as it had an hour and a half ago when I cleaned it for the third unnecessary time. Was this really the best that Disney could do with a bathroom? It looked like the bathroom at my elementary school. I sat down on the counter and began to critique the plastic gray stalls, the white tile and the metal paper dispenser when my phone vibrated inside my pocket, a text from Alexis.
Big Al: Hey honey bunches when do you get off?
Me: Ugh! not for a few more hours
Big Al: Dimas is going to watch the fireworks at EPCOT tonight and wants us to come. How do you feel about that? ;)
Me: Cute italian man invited us to do something. Yes please!
Big Al: Thats what i thought cu later chica.
I held my Blackberry Storm in my hand contemplating its entertainment possibilities. This mammoth of a phone was saving my life this summer. I went to the internet browser and pulled up the YouTube video for a popular song. No one was around; all the guests were long gone and Blondie was busy with her very important matters. The music began flowing from my phone at a quiet but still audible volume. I was not an idiot. If the music was too loud I would draw attention to the bathroom, which was not good. I started dancing in and out of the stalls when it got to the really good part of the song I did a Michael Jackson turn that the King of Pop would be proud only to turn around and see Blondie standing in the doorway. How long has she been watching me? The look on her face did not make it seem like she was impressed with my sweet dance moves, (although she should have been).
Blondie didn’t have to say anything because her eyes said it all. Still she opened her mouth to verify what her eyes were already saying, “Having fun?”
“Well, um I was cleaning the toilet and I lost my rag…I was looking for it when….and then I just thought….yes. Yes I am.”
“It looks like it.”
Silence.
“I think I need to um…go check the cans umm that are outside.” I walked passed her.
“Good idea.”
I got a big waft of victory perfume as I walked by her. She would understand, right? I mean, I bet she was just as busy as I was once the Argentines left. She was young…once. She would totally understand that it was hot outside and I wasn’t thinking clearly. The humidity was getting to me, confusing me. She wouldn’t tell on me. She had more important things to attend to than the lowly custodian. The trash cans were empty, but I put linings in them anyways. I was still outside with the trashcans when my walkie-talkie began to hum at me.
Me: “Hello?”
Radio: “What’s your 20?”
Me: “All Star Hall checking the outside bins. It’s so hot today.”
Radio: “Ya, it is. Could you please come back to base when you’re done?”
Me: 10-4
The radio clicked off. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.
This was not good. I’ve never been called back to base before. Maybe they were going to let me leave early. It was the Fourth of July after all. Maybe they were going to tell me that I could work somewhere else for the rest of my shift. I started the walk back to base. I can’t believe I’m going to be sent home. This is so embarrassing. We talked about this at training, we weren’t even supposed to bring our cell phones out with us, that alone was grounds for being suspend and I had my phone out playing music.
“Yes Mom I got fired from Disney. No Dad I’m not kidding.” Ugh. I did not want to go back home. “But you hated your job” they would say. Yes, so what. I loved Florida. I loved the thunderstorms that shook the windows and the lightening so bright it lit up the entire sky. Why did I let the heat get to me? Dimas would find someone else that would flirt with him. This was so stupid. I loved having the worse summer of my entire life.
When I finally got to base, I would have gotten there sooner if they would have given me a freaking golf cart, I headed towards the conference room. The big plastic doors painted to pretend the appearance of wood never looked so daunting to me before. I did not want to walk through those doors. Mostly because the inside of that room smelt like a mixture of B.O. and stale coffee, but also because I was afraid of what was going to happen to me. After a big breath and an “I don’t give a crap” attitude adjustment I pushed open the doors and walked inside, still smelt like B.O and stale coffee, if they assigned me to clean this room I would have been busy all day and then some. I noticed the congealed shiny hair of my manger sitting in the chair at the top of the conference table.
“You wanted to see me.”
“Yes. I did. How is All-Star Hall going for you?”
“It’s been pretty slow since the tour group left, but its fine. The bathrooms are really clean and I’ve been organizing the closet…kind of”
“Good. I got a call from the receptionist”
“You did?”
Oh no. Here it comes. I don’t think I can handle this. Would it hurt? Would he be mean?
“Yes.” He said before I was ready to hear it. “She said that there was nothing else for you to do since the group left and though that it might be nice to let you leave a bit early. It is the Fourth of July after all.”
“Sorry, what did you say?”
( i'm not a huge fan of the ending, but i didnt know how to change it. ALSO, please click here to see a funny video about confessions of a disney employee)
