bah!

why am i such a procrastinator!!??? ugh!

middle distance runner

im not even that anymore....depressing i think so.

well my heart is beating hard and im off with a shout at the start and my legs tremble from strain by the finish line i am drained.

i'll only ever be a middle distance runner

*thought brought about by seawolf

and a way out is found

...but should i really be this excited about it?

...

what have i gotten myself into

bubbly

i would totally not be creeped out if michale buble sunk into my room every night to sing me to sleep....actually i would encourage it. so mr buble if youre out there reading this (which i highly doubt but nonetheless still hope) you are more than welcome to come lull me to sleep every night with your alluring voice. but i warn you michale, dont try to get fresh with me becasue i will give you a beat down. Though if you wanted to ask me on a date i just might accept.

update

so tie dye tuesdays are going great. i have yet to forget to wear a tie dyed shirt on tuesday. it has yet to catch on with others but im going strong i think people will get a clue soon enough...I once had a dream that it was tuesday and i was trying to put on a tie dyed shirt but every time i pulled the shirt down past my head it would turn into just a plain white shirt, it was a nightmare! speaking of weird dreams i have reoccurring dreams of something happening to my teeth, like they fall out or move around a lot or they are really ugly looking. ITS TERRIFYING!!! i did not have braces for three years to have my teeth look like crap and then proceed to fall out. oh heck to the no! brush brush floss floss. well thats all i have for now, until i feel like writing again...ciao.

dern it. why didnt i just listen when i was a child.

i really wish i would have heeded my piano teachers voice when i was younger. Practicing was important, she would say to me every week. She said that if i would just practice i would one day be able to just sit down at the piano and play what i was feeling. i really wish i could have known then what i know now. Today i had the strongest desire to just sit at the piano and get all my emotion out by hitting the keys and have something more come out form the piano than the unmusicalness that i produce. dern me and my childlike stupidness. ugh.

twos company and threes a crowd

being the third is no fun. i want the fourth to come back.

sad day

something tragic has happened in my life recently. it has really been upsetting to me and i havent been able to get it out of my mind. sadly there has been a death...my plant herb had died. i have had him since i was a sophomore in high school. Herb was bestowed upon me by my uncle. Herb was a good plant, he didnt shed leaves, he enjoyed the sunlight and he didnt mind when i would forget to water him. Herb was a strong plant, he survived the trip from California to Utah in the back of a pick-up.But i guess he just coulnt take my abuse anymore, two weeks was just too long to go without the precious hydrogen oxygen compound. i tried to save him but it was just to late...he was beyond saving. those of you reading this may think that i am being a bit sarcastic but i am truly sad that herb died. I planned on having him for the rest of my life. so heres to you Herb, thanks for the brightness that youve brought into my room and my soul, no other plant will ever take your place although they make take your pot. rest well my friend and may your decomposing go well.

tie dye tuesday

so this year every tuesday i will be wearing a tie-dyed shirt. it will be epic. you should do it also. if tuesday doesnt work for you we have tie dye tuesday rescheduled to sunday (thats for you big al). join the fun.

i want to rip my hair out

why you may i ask would i ever want to rip by luscious locks from my head, well let me tell you. right at this very moment i hate school. i hate all my reading assignments, i hate all my reading quizzes and discussion questions, i hate papers, i hate studying, i dont want to participate in class, and most of all i hate that i cannot handle this all. i feel like a loser, i want to give up but know the disappointment that will be directed at me if i do. i have never spent so much time in the library or on campus, i have ten hour days ever day and its really tearing me down. Heavenly Father please help me.

Hands: a sonnet by me

so for my english class we were asked to write a sonnet and this is what i came up with. its a bit cheesy:) you have to give a round of applause to the people who do this well, its not easy work.

hands are used for holding
ten fingers interlaced
our fingers do the folding
while our bodies stay in place

on my dainty finger
you have placed a ring
forever it will linger
to you will i always cling

holding our dear child
your hands support her head
she looked at you and smiled
as you placed he on the bed

my hand in yours forever
through good or bad, whatever

monday nights

monday nights are the best. i do not let the onset of a new week get the worst of me because although i have to once again start classes i know that something so awesome will happen that evening. yes. i am talking of family home evening. I HAVE THE BEST FHE GROUP EVER. the girls are rockin and the guys are amazing. its just a group of really good. righteous people. i love what the gospel does to people. i can learn a lot from my them. this summer is going to be kickin!

next door.

So, instead of going to italy this summer im am remaining in provo to take spring classes and get a job (still in search) I will get ahead and be on track for my program which is good and since I decided to minor in Italian so I can go on a study aboard and get credit for it. All these things are good, so maybe I wasn’t supposed to go to Italy. Im afraid that my Italian will go down hill since I wont be taking an Italian class, I guess I will just have to find someone that will speak to me…an old professor perhaps hehehe.

Anyways the point of this post and the subject that had relevance to the title: I decided to stay at miler for spring summer because 1 it was cheap 2 I like the ward and 3 me and my ballers are living here fall/winter . I thought I would be able to stay in the same apartment but no a married couple, that’s right, a MARRIED couple will be moving into apt.6 so I was moved next door to apt7 which I fine because I like the girls that I am living with but its just annoying, dumb married people and their dumb club, always ruining everything. Im already all moved in funnily enough im in the same room and same bed as I was in 6.

I have had a fun time since finals ended. I mostly have been hanging with the girls before they departed. We did our traditional hill rolling at the periodicals hill, blew raspberries to make songs (we were surprisingly good), had a dance party, played night games, went to dinner with KJ’s parents and Britt’s parents, Seth and Brady even came. Im helping Ali babysit her sibs while her parents are in the Bahamas. That has been fun. Im glad that she lives in orem and is taking spring classes, being here would be so much harder if she wasn’t here. I love my girls Alexi, Britt, KJ and Alexis. They are seriously my soul sisters, my college experience would be so vastly different (and not anywhere nearly as awesome) without them. Ah him going to miss them being here at school with me, I have lived with them for the past two years. This is sure to be an experience.

In bocca al lupo.
Cerpi al lupo.

the club

there is an elite club on BYU campus that i am not a part of. i would very much like to be a part of this club. you woudnt think it would be so hard to get in to, you only need one thing to be a part of this choice grouping of people. It just so happens that this one thing i am in need of i am heavily lacking. oh well, one day i will no longer lack it and i will finally be in. i guess i will juts have to be patient, something i have yet to have mastered.

new shoes

I have recently purchased something I have been in desperate need of…running shoes. I’ve had my Sony's for almost three years, ya I know way too long to have a pair of running shoes, but I'm cheap and I wasn’t really running that much even though I used them for a two track seasons and a season of cross country in high school. Haha. I bought a pair of Asics they are absolutely fabulous. It feels as if I’m running on a cloud. My very first pair running shoes was a pair of Asics. I loved them, I would have bought the same pair but sadly they were nowhere to be found. This pair is really good though, my feet felt total comfort as I went for a run with Britt today. I’m finally getting back into running after a long absence. I have been unfaithful since I have come to college, only occasionally would I venture out into the filthy air of Utah to scuttle along (personally I prefer running in California or Florida, Utah is to elevated and has gross air I can feel the impurities seeping into my lungs…maybe I just being dramatic, but probably not). Nevertheless I have once again begun to discover my love for running. It’s coming slowly. I’m not too fond of the during part, but after I feel great. I cannot wait to compete, that was my favorite part. The whole passing people (especially a certain girl) was cool and medaling was awesome, I really liked to see the seconds and minuets shaved off with each race.
So here are my running goals…
1. Be able to run an eight minuet mile again, maybe faster
2. Run a half marathon this summer
3. Run a marathon before I turn 21
4. This one is a little weird but…run so hard and so fast that I throw-up or pass out
I LOVE RUNNING! I LOVE ENDORPHINS! I LOVE BEATING PEOPLE!

solo in italiano

Questo il fine settimana, io, Shamra e Stephaine sono andate lo shopping. Fare cose più divertente, siamo decise che ci solo parlavamo in italiano. Dopo lo shopping sono andate al ristornate Gloria's Little Italy. Era benissimo! Abbiamo fatto più alcuni shopping e dopo siamo mangiato il gelato da Sammys. Era una tantissimo giorno!

a peaceful sunday

This is what goes down in my apartment on sundays. usually im in the position that kirk is in...or in the bathtub, dang that Alexi.

il sole

The sun was out today. It was rather enjoyable. I love the spring and cannot wait until its full force is upon us. My plans to go to Italy this summer don’t seem to be going exactly as I have planned, so I think I will be sticking around here in good ole’ p-town. I can knock off the top 10 things to do in provo, most of them are outside activities. Oh, ya the purpose of the blog entry…I love the sun. Not only is it necessary to sustain life, but it is also essential to my happiness. It’s so hard to be in a bad mood when its so beautifully sunny outside. Mr. Golden Sun has been hiding for quite some time, I’m glad he finally graced us with his glorious rays for I missed them dearly. Walking around campus one could easily see the effects of this splendid visit. Bodies dotted the grass all across university grounds, people sprawled with bags and books around them, couples PDA blooming like spring flowers, and sandal clad girls. Why is it that as soon as the sun comes put so do all the couples, have they too been hiding like the sun in winter. I must admit the only explanation for my annoyance is because I do not have a person to disgust others with PDA. Oh man, where art thou?
sono molto emozionato per estate. io amo il sole e voglio camminare una montagna.

yellow hardware

my computers face is coming off. and it wont update. i hate it. i want to smash it with a hammer! ahhh the frustration that i am feeling right now. never again Dell, never again.

girly girl

Well I just got done being a totally girly girl. Painted the nails (pink of course), applied a face mask and even plucked the eyebrows while a blue turbbie wrap held up my wet hair. It was great fun. I dont think this is necessary all the time, but the occasionally extreme girliness is okay. I love being a girl. Its great!

can i just say...

Can I just say how unbelievably awesome life is. Sure there are bumps along the way, some really really big bumps, mountainesque bumps in fact, but why let those bumps detour you from appreciating how truly astounding life is. There are so many things to be grateful for, don’t waste time focusing on the things that bough you down. It’s a waste of time, waste of energy, and a waste of a thought. Have fun, be grateful, love people.

Can I just say how freakin marvelous missionaries they are. I love them! They rock! They are my favorite! and my best! I have numerous friends out in the world telling others of the greatness that is the gospel of Christ. Whenever I receive a parasol of mail form them I get so excited, it brings a mammoth smile to my face and colossal improvement to my day. You fellas rock! Thanks House, Christoph, Bryant, Hal, Ethan, Trevor, Robby, Jeff, Andy, Steve, Adam, John, Ryan, Amber, and the many others for being worthy to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Church is true!

Can I just say how grateful I am for being blessed to be able to attend, in my opinion, the greatest university ever BYU!

Can I just say that life is so much better when you look at things from the bright side.

Can I just say how much I love my brothers. They are awfully groovy. My brother David, age 18, is the funniest thing since something really funny…he has this loud contagious laugh. Haha, if I was in my room and he was laughing about something stupid on television I would yell David shut up, its not that funny, then go into the other room to tell him to shut up so more, “David you are so annoying” I would wind up laughing myself into a fit. Oh which reminds me of this one time when we were watching a movie together and I asked for one of his Pringles he said okay just one. I ate the one Pringle and then shortly after got up to go get some more form the kitchen. When I came back in he saw the Pringles in my hand and started to laugh sincerely loud. I asked what was so funny and he said, “Bet you cant eat just one”. That was written on the side if the Pringle tube. Haha. I love that kid. Oh geeze, Daniel. What a hoot. He is so adorable. He calls my ashwee and always says “Oh man!” I remember when he was born. The first time I saw him I cried, I was so happy. Last time I was home I told him that the moon was made out of cheese, and in order to get to the moon you had to have an invisible rope, he’s still looking for that rope.

Can I just say how stinkin blessed I am.

Can I just how awesome people watching is, especially here at the Y. There is nothing better than observing someone doing something weird.

Can I just say how splendid guys are, I love them. My roomies can attest to that. Hahaha and Elder Ehlen who gets to hear all my ridiculous stories. He soaks it upJ

Can I just say that I love music. Currently I obsessively listen to Ian Axel, A Rocket to the Moon, Owl City, Angels and Airwaves, and Ludovico Einaudi.

Can I just say how freaking sweet friends are. I love to hang with them, laugh with them, talk with them, do whatever with them. “Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long, 'til I'm going to need somebody to lean on."

Can I just say how happy I am right now.

Dear Life,

I love you.

Thanks for being cool.

Love Ashley

well I feel dumb

Today, on multiple occasions, I felt rather dumb. It was rather frustrating. I hate looking like an idiot. Non bene! Here’s to tomorrow.

Shhh. Dont say it.

I have been told that I am blunt, not only I am blunt I have also been told that I am forward. I know, not a good combo. To top this all off I am impatient, really not a good combo. I think I am queen of saying/doing stupid things.

Example one: While working at Disney I ventured to a park with a co-worker I had a slight…okay fat…crush on. I was flirty, as it was and told him that if he got scared on the Tower of Terror he could hold my hand. He TOTALLY grabbed my handJ. The rest of the day went really well, until we were leaving and I just said “So you get this right?” him, “Get what?” Me, “ That I like you.” Him, ”….oh ya, I like you too…you’re cool” ya….hahahaha WHAT WAS I THINKING!! Me and my big impatient mouth. It was rather awkward form that point on.

Example two: Once again at Hollywood Studios with a guy I found rather appealing, and who had really nice handsJ Nice hands=hot! Anyways I really wanted to hold his hand, so when we were walking to the bus to leave I just grabbed it. He looked at me, and I said, “This doesn’t mean anything. I just like hands.” Him, “okay”. SERIOUSLY!! What the heck was going through my head!?

There are many other examples, but those are the first that come to mind. You may be wondering what spurred this entry, well let me inform you. I have a strong desire to say something really dumb to a person that it would be really awkward around if that person took it the wrong way or was weirded out by it, which that person would probably be even though I really hope that that person wouldn’t be. I must fight this urge to say what is so foolish. Yet I dream about that persons reaction. I guess that is a big reason why I say/do the things that are so silly. I want to know how they will react. It varies with the individual.

While the above examples resulted in awkwardness, I wouldn’t take them back. Firstly, they are good stories and secondly….okay well they are just good stories (which are rather embarrassing when brought up on dates—thanks LexJ). This is what is making it so hard for me to not say something so…ill-considered, although I have in reality considered it a lot. It would be best for me to keep my mouth shut, but there really is no controlling it. If part of me wants to say it, it will come out somehow so I think it best to get it over with. “I LIKE MEN IN SWEATHERS!”

Once again you are probably wonder what in the heck am I talking about, this is a usual occurrence, but if you know me, then you know what I am talking about.

Peace for now.