Shhh. Dont say it.

I have been told that I am blunt, not only I am blunt I have also been told that I am forward. I know, not a good combo. To top this all off I am impatient, really not a good combo. I think I am queen of saying/doing stupid things.

Example one: While working at Disney I ventured to a park with a co-worker I had a slight…okay fat…crush on. I was flirty, as it was and told him that if he got scared on the Tower of Terror he could hold my hand. He TOTALLY grabbed my handJ. The rest of the day went really well, until we were leaving and I just said “So you get this right?” him, “Get what?” Me, “ That I like you.” Him, ”….oh ya, I like you too…you’re cool” ya….hahahaha WHAT WAS I THINKING!! Me and my big impatient mouth. It was rather awkward form that point on.

Example two: Once again at Hollywood Studios with a guy I found rather appealing, and who had really nice handsJ Nice hands=hot! Anyways I really wanted to hold his hand, so when we were walking to the bus to leave I just grabbed it. He looked at me, and I said, “This doesn’t mean anything. I just like hands.” Him, “okay”. SERIOUSLY!! What the heck was going through my head!?

There are many other examples, but those are the first that come to mind. You may be wondering what spurred this entry, well let me inform you. I have a strong desire to say something really dumb to a person that it would be really awkward around if that person took it the wrong way or was weirded out by it, which that person would probably be even though I really hope that that person wouldn’t be. I must fight this urge to say what is so foolish. Yet I dream about that persons reaction. I guess that is a big reason why I say/do the things that are so silly. I want to know how they will react. It varies with the individual.

While the above examples resulted in awkwardness, I wouldn’t take them back. Firstly, they are good stories and secondly….okay well they are just good stories (which are rather embarrassing when brought up on dates—thanks LexJ). This is what is making it so hard for me to not say something so…ill-considered, although I have in reality considered it a lot. It would be best for me to keep my mouth shut, but there really is no controlling it. If part of me wants to say it, it will come out somehow so I think it best to get it over with. “I LIKE MEN IN SWEATHERS!”

Once again you are probably wonder what in the heck am I talking about, this is a usual occurrence, but if you know me, then you know what I am talking about.

Peace for now.