well I feel dumb

Today, on multiple occasions, I felt rather dumb. It was rather frustrating. I hate looking like an idiot. Non bene! Here’s to tomorrow.

Shhh. Dont say it.

I have been told that I am blunt, not only I am blunt I have also been told that I am forward. I know, not a good combo. To top this all off I am impatient, really not a good combo. I think I am queen of saying/doing stupid things.

Example one: While working at Disney I ventured to a park with a co-worker I had a slight…okay fat…crush on. I was flirty, as it was and told him that if he got scared on the Tower of Terror he could hold my hand. He TOTALLY grabbed my handJ. The rest of the day went really well, until we were leaving and I just said “So you get this right?” him, “Get what?” Me, “ That I like you.” Him, ”….oh ya, I like you too…you’re cool” ya….hahahaha WHAT WAS I THINKING!! Me and my big impatient mouth. It was rather awkward form that point on.

Example two: Once again at Hollywood Studios with a guy I found rather appealing, and who had really nice handsJ Nice hands=hot! Anyways I really wanted to hold his hand, so when we were walking to the bus to leave I just grabbed it. He looked at me, and I said, “This doesn’t mean anything. I just like hands.” Him, “okay”. SERIOUSLY!! What the heck was going through my head!?

There are many other examples, but those are the first that come to mind. You may be wondering what spurred this entry, well let me inform you. I have a strong desire to say something really dumb to a person that it would be really awkward around if that person took it the wrong way or was weirded out by it, which that person would probably be even though I really hope that that person wouldn’t be. I must fight this urge to say what is so foolish. Yet I dream about that persons reaction. I guess that is a big reason why I say/do the things that are so silly. I want to know how they will react. It varies with the individual.

While the above examples resulted in awkwardness, I wouldn’t take them back. Firstly, they are good stories and secondly….okay well they are just good stories (which are rather embarrassing when brought up on dates—thanks LexJ). This is what is making it so hard for me to not say something so…ill-considered, although I have in reality considered it a lot. It would be best for me to keep my mouth shut, but there really is no controlling it. If part of me wants to say it, it will come out somehow so I think it best to get it over with. “I LIKE MEN IN SWEATHERS!”

Once again you are probably wonder what in the heck am I talking about, this is a usual occurrence, but if you know me, then you know what I am talking about.

Peace for now.

I live in the Ghetto

I currently reside at the Miller Apartments also known as the ghetto. We have shag blue carpet, paper thin walls, leaky sinks, a fridge held together by wire and a variety of other things. There are very…interesting people that fill the rooms of Miller. Its excellent for people watching.

Our bathroom sink area...its generally quite a mess

Aya's, our Japanese roomie, bike just chillin in our livingroom.

Britt's potting soil that she refuses to get rid of.

This is the fridge mentioned above

Adventure...

Honestly I'm not much of a blogger, but I want to be. I see people that have sweet blogs and I'm always like "I wanna have a sweet blog like that". So this is my attempt to have a sweet blog like the ones I envy.

Adventures...I love adventures. I plan on having a lot of them during my life time. I think I have had a few good ones so far in my short nineteen years upon this earth. Firstly, growing up with my erratic, loving, boisterous, and overwhelming family was quite the adventure. I'll spare you the details. Middle school was an adventure, first love, first break-up, first time some stupid blonde-headed girl spreads ridiculous rumors about you. Yep those were the good ole' days of self-consciousness, pubescent changes, and anxiety over if you were wearing cool enough shoes. High school was a more pleasant adventure. And college is even better than that, tenfold one-hundredfold, 10^100 fold better. I love BYU with a fierce burning in my bosom.

The biggest adventure at BYU would definitely have to be my roommates, who I feel I was destined to be with. It was really quite miraculous that I was placed with them. After forgetting to sign-up for housing, snatching a spot in Helamen, getting kicked out of Helamen (apparently I was taking the spot of an athlete), and finally being randomly placed in Heritage I feel there was some divine intervention involved in my living situation. They are hands down the coolest people on or off campus. Brittiany Clements, Kristjana (KJ) Green, Alexi Trottier, and Alexis Hiatt are the loves of my life; they are the sisters of my soul, the peanut to my butter, the meatballs in my spaghetti. We have experienced agglomeration of things together this past year and half and will experience more in the years to come. I hope these girls fully understand that they are never leaving my life.

In the famous words of Rascal Flats “Life is a highway I'm gonna ride it all night long.”